The solitary bird on the wire. I have been there so many times in my life in different ways. I have gotten used to and ok with it. Sometimes I have been by myself navigating rough waters. Sometimes I have been the one to stand up all by myself. Sometimes I have gone to the movies by myself. I even lived by myself for a time (and loved it!).
I think being ok with being the only bird is an amazing skill to have. Yes, it is a skill. It doesn’t come naturally to our human nature. We were created for relationship. One of the basic things we need according to Maslow’s hierarchy is love and belonging.
Forcing ourselves to be in solitude can be a scary thing. We are left with our own thoughts staring back at us. Some of those thoughts and desires can be less than stellar. After hearing my story people have often commented on how “normal” I appear. I think self-reflection is my secret. I am constantly questioning my thoughts and analyzing them. I swear, the only time my brain is silent is while I am sleeping or meditating. Did you read the post last week? That’s a pretty normal day in my head. This psychiatrist’s couch I reserve in my head for my thoughts has taken me from an immensly hatefilled person to one who sees the beauty in anything or anyone.
This has also caused me to be the one to state unpopular beliefs. Some of my parenting decisions/discipline may seem odd to the average person. Some of my spiritual beliefs may not fall exactly in line with traditional Christianity. I have spent time questioning and analyzing to come to my conclusions. I tell people I don’t mind if you believe differently than me, just be able to back up your beliefs. Don’t just go along with the status quo, know why you believe what you do.
Oh, my precious children, this is perhaps one of the most important skills to develop, to think for yourself. Be comfortable being by yourself. Be comfortable in your own head. Even go experience life by yourself. You will be amazed and what comes up.